Confused (By What I Felt Inside)

Confused (By What I Felt Inside) is a song from The Residents' 1988 epic, God In Three Persons.

Background

Having officially reached the second half of the album, the chorus informs us that we are about to learn "How it started". Although it has been subtly mentioned throughout the album, this is the first time Mr. X talks about his more intimate feelings for the twins. While sitting near a fireplace, Mr. X found himself full of this tension that "seemed to offer [him] no place to go." Shortly after this, Mr. X heard strange noises coming from their bathroom and decided to investigate. The twins inform Mr. X that they had found an "object" that someone had left behind presumably after a service.

Mr. X demanded to see it and was quite surprised when he found a "smooth and shiny object with a purpose and a job [he] recognized and was familiar with." The live shows later confirmed that this object was a phallic sex toy seen on some of the art for the album. Once the awkwardness and tension hit all of them, it seemed that Mr. X took this moment to grab the twin who he believed was the "she thing" because of the look in her eye. This advance led to all three of them falling on the bathroom floor in an awkward pile of bodies. Mr. X tells the twins that they should save this mysterious and rather forceful passion for another time. Mr. X then tells us that he's "confused by what I felt inside."

Recordings and Performances

The first demo recording of this song was recorded in 1987 and notably features Hardy Fox on vocals instead of the usual Singing Resident. This version also has some slightly different lyrics as well. This demo can thankfully be heard on the pREServed edition of this album. Most of these Hardy Demos are very similar to the final versions of the album but notably this demo uses the instrumental for "Kiss Of Flesh". This means the demo has wildly different lyrics compared to the other demos as well as the implication that the album was going to have a very different ending compared to the ending we got.

The song was then performed live on April 27th, 2019 during the God In Three Persons Mini-Tour. A recording from the tour would feature on the live album and DVD. This version largely stays faithful to the albums structure while adding new visuals and accompanying choreography.

Lyrics

Album Version

(Mr. X)

I was standing at the fireplace thinking of my own desire which seemed to offer me no place to go,
when I heard a little giggle, sounding like some silly piglets playing in the mud so deep and warm.
So I went and looked around and from the bathroom door I found some sounds that had not come from there before.
So I shouted, "Come on out", and soon I saw them both look out expressing fear and innocence at once.

(Chorus)

How it started...

(Mr. X)

They said that they were having fun with something that they found someone had left behind a basket on the floor.
"Let me see", and so I took it with a snatch that left a crooked smile across the corner of my mouth.
It was a smooth and shiny object with a purpose and a job I recognized and was familiar with.

Looking up I saw one pair of eyes that somehow now were staring straight into the secrets of my mind.
I knew at once it was the she thing, not the they and not the he thing looking back at me and my desire.
Inflamed I reached and pulled her close, but then at once I had them both off balance and we fell upon the floor
into a pile of awkward bodies, with arms and legs and elbows caught beneath, around, and in between us all.

Hastily I helped them up and said that we should soon discuss and try to understand what they had found.
But it was too late to do it now, but if I tell the truth, I was confused by what I felt inside.

(Chorus)

That was a bad thing....

G3P Live (Difference in bold and italics) This version has the biggest lyrical difference out of any version. As the Faceless Forever Encyclopedia describes "The Residents, feeling the original text has been dashed off in a mad rush, went back and gave it an editorial polish, reconfiguring a few lines while both adding and dropping material".

(Mr. X)

I was standing at the fireplace thinking of my own desire which seemed to be a hole of hurt and and harm,
when I heard a little giggle, (Twins giggling) sounding like some silly piglets playing in the mud so deep and warm.
So I went and looked around and from the bathroom door I found some sounds that had not come from there before.
So I shouted, "Come on out", and soon their faces full of doubt, peeked at me from the newly open door.

(Chorus)

How it started...

(Mr. X)

They said that they were having fun with something that they found someone had left inside a little leather pouch.
"Let me see" I said, and so I took it with a snatch that left a crooked smile across the corner of my mouth.
It was a smooth and shiny object with a purpose and a job I recognized and easily defined.

Looking up I saw one pair of eyes that boldly stabbed and stared deep into the secrets of my mind.
I knew at once it was the she thing, not the they and not the he thing looking back at me and my desire.
Inflamed I reached and pulled them close, but then at once I had them both off balance and we fell into a pile of quivering and awkward bodies,
arms and legs and elbows caught beneath, around, and in between us all.

Hastily I helped them up and said that we should soon discuss the object which was unidentified.
I left them with a lame excuse but if I were to tell the truth, I was confused by what I felt inside.

(Chorus)

(Various Moaning)

(Mr. X)

(Various Screaming)

Hardy Fox Demo (Difference in bold and italics)

(Mr. X)

I was standing at the fireplace thinking of my own desire which seemed to offer me no place to go,

when I heard a little giggle, sounding like some silly piglets playing in the mud so deep and warm.
So I went and looked around and through the bathroom door I found some sounds that had not come from there before.
So I shouted, "Come on out of there", and soon I saw the pouted faces looking out in shock.

We were only having fun with something we had found someone had left behind in a basket on the floor
"Let me see", and so I took it with a snatch that left a crooked smile across the corner of my mouth.
It was a smooth and shiny object with a purpose and a job I recognized and was familiar with.

Looking up I saw one pair of eyes that somehow now were staring straight into the secrets of my mind.
I knew at once it was the she thing, not the they and not the he thing looking back at me and my desire.
Maybe we should go somewhere were we can talk and we can about the things that happened here today. and so we walked on down the hallway to a room that soon we would call the secret center of beyond control

Appearances

• God In Three Persons (1988)
• God In Three Persons Soundtrack (1988)
• In Memoriam Torso (1994)
• G3P Ephemera (2019)
• God In 3 Persons (2020)
• God In 3 Persons (Video) (2023)

External links and references

• God in 3 Persons at The Residents Historical